The Globe has a story on how much money different Tory MPs have donated to the Conservative Party over the past year. James Moore has given more than any other Conservative MP to his own party. So clearly just writing a cheque doesn’t guarantee you a Cabinet spot. Apparently, neither does being an extremely bright and talented MP. But I digress.

Apparently, there has been some “displeasure” over the fact that 18 Cabinet Ministers haven’t donated cash to their own party this year. Luckily, after asking some questions in the right places, I’ve come up with the top 8 excuses by Tory Cabinet Ministers for not donating to the party:

8. Lost all my money in that income trust flip-flop.

7. Stockwell Day: “Already donated to get the Big Valley Creation Museum started”.

6. Gordon O’Connor: “I did donate money. What? I didn’t. General Hillier said I did.”

5. Made an “in kind” donation by giving Stephen Harper fashion advice.

4. To be honest, I don’t do anything unless explicitly instructed to do it from the PMO. I’m afraid to even order a donut on my own.

3. Tony Clement: “Now that Belinda’s a Liberal, I’ve had to finish paying off my own leadership campaign debt.”

2. John Baird: “After thirteen long years of Liberal corruption…I’m sorry – what was the question again?”

1. Felt it could be better spent donating it to the Stephane Dion leadership campaign.