Take a Seat


Independent MP Bruce Hyer has put forward a motion to improve House of Commons decorum:

Independent MP calls for ‘random’ Commons seating plan

NDP-turned-Independent MP Bruce Hyer told the CBC’s Julie Van Dusen Thursday he’s introducing a private member’s motion calling for random seating in the House of Commons. The seating plan could change a few times a year, with MPs dispersed among representatives of other parties.

“We would no longer be sitting in hockey teams, with our coaches dying to send us over the boards for a brawl,” Hyer said. “We’d get to know them as people.”

The MP, who is now free to speak and vote as he wishes, thinks the move would end the “mindless solidarity and tribalism” he sees around him and improve cooperation and decorum.

 

Now, as the seating chart below will attest, Bruce is currently in what we call “the cheap seats”, sandwiched in the back corner of the House between another ex-Dipper and what’s left of the Bloc. So the cynic in me thinks Hyer might be proposing this for the same reason I’d be down for a random seat draw any time I find myself in the nosebleeds at a hockey game.

My first instinct was to dismiss this as a trivial suggestion that would be no more productive than having MPs partake in ice breaker games before QP each day (I’d suggest having them play “two truths and a lie”, but I’m not sure how many MPs would be capable of coming up with two truths). After all, it seems hard to believe a new seating plan would do anything to clean up the bile that has soaked into every crevace of the House of Commons.

But the more I think about it, the more I like Hyer’s suggestion. Just imagine the matchmaking possibilities this creates! Consider the following desk-mates who could theoretically be paired at random:

John Baird & Rob Anders: At the very least, siting Anders next to one of the loudest MPs in Ottawa would prevent him from dozing off in the House.

James Moore & Irene Mathyseen: This would ensure Mathyseen has a good view of Moore’s laptop, so that she can dutifully report back to the media on every web page he views.

Vic Toews & Justin Trudeau: Maybe they’d be able to settle their issues by talking to each other, rather than through passive agressive tweets.

Peter MacKay & Peter Goldring: Goldring may be without a drivers license for a while, so MacKay can always lend him the search & rescue helicopter on weekends.

Pat Martin & Pierre Poilievre: Non-stop hilarious hijinks! Keep a camera on them, and CPAC would have more than enough material for its first ever sitcom.


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14 responses to “Take a Seat”

  1. I wonder if there is enough room to put cabinet at a new cross bench – might have to detour the speaker’s parade but I would think it would fit!

  2. Actually, a more reasonable solution than musical chairs would be to get rid of the desks altogether, as in the British House of Commons. ALL speakers would speak from a podium in front of the Speaker and Seagant-at-Arms, and the cameras would focus ONLY on that spot. You might still hear some heckling, but not desk-pounding, and all MPs would be expected to pay attention, and wouldn’t be able to do other work at their desks.

  3. I like crazy ideas like this, though I’ll go one further. Is there any reason members of parliament need to be in parliament? What if everybody sort of Skyped in (we’d be even more advanced than the government in Star Wars!)?

    It would be better for MPs – who spend half their lives flying to and from their constituencies (this would also save money). They could spend that flight-time serving the voters, and/or coming up with legislation.

    It would be a lot better for PM’s and ministers, who are often out of the country, much less Ottawa, due to the nature of their duties.

    It would be better from a standpoint of civility. As I imagine it, you’d only see/hear the recognized speaker at any one time – or possibly two, if there was an exchange. There also wouldn’t be any possibility for physical acts of unruliness, like when an MP wielded the speaker’s mace.

    You would also get around the uncertainty that arises when sick members of parliament cannot attend important votes – a member could skype in from their hospital bed if need be.

    It could reduce partisanship, because you’d see each speaker by themselves on a screen, instead of as members of a cohesive party. Nor could you organize the heckling and desk-banging that goes on today.

    And most importantly, we could finally realize Preston Manning’s dream of turning parliament into a bingo hall. Lets just not ask Stephane Dion’s December 2008 cinematographer to set up the video feeds.

  4. John Baird & Rob Anders: Additionally, Rob might finally lose his virginity. Throw in Jason Kenney for good measure. 😉

  5. I love this most intriguing idea.

    The parties shouldn’t be allowed to use the house as a boxing ring or hockey ring.

    Governance isn’t a sport. The sooner partisans let that soak in, the better the entire world will be.

    There’s so much talk recently about the “changing landscape”, and “renewal”, and often about decorum and civility.

    This is the best idea I’ve heard in years; it’s workable and SIMPLE (ie. it could be implemented this afternoon).

    There’s no reason to not try it out (unless, I suppose, one is a partisan and doesn’t want one’s herd to mingle. You know who else was a puritan? Hitler. That’s who.).

  6. On a side note, I presume Michael Chong’s QP reforms died when the election was called, correct? Has there been any talk of bringing them back?

  7. I’m not opposed to removing desks – the added benefit of that is that it would solve the problem of the ever-expanding House not being able to hold the new seats.

    As for having MPs Skype in, I feel I’m a bit too much of a traditionalist for that, but H2H does make a compelling argument for it. Maybe they could test it out on Fridays and see how it works?

  8. We could solve the space problem and go random at the same time by nominating MP’s randomly to sit on the laps of the Cabinet Ministers.

    I for one would tune in if and when Mulcair has to sit on Harper’s Lap during Question Period.

  9. Let’s understand exactly what “problem” we’re trying to “solve” here.

    If the issue is too much Party influence over individual members, a seating arrangement isn’t going to solve anything.

    If the “problem” is that “the other guys” have too much control over “their” MPs while we’re trying to exert “influence” over our own, well, then, you’re out of luck.

  10. I’d personally prefer to see fellow Manitobans Pat Martin and Vic Toews seated together (though, even more than that, I’d love to see Toews out of Parliament).

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