Dear Progressive Conservatives,<\/p>\n
First off, congrats on the 40 years in power. It was a good run and, speaking on behalf of the Alberta Liberal Party, I’d like to think we played a small role in making it possible.<\/p>\n
But the latest polls<\/a> show Danielle Smith and her band of lovable homophobes poised for power – some polls<\/a> even have PC support dipping below 30%, into “Liberal territory”. It looks like the party’s over, and if Alberta’s history is any indication, once you lose power, you never get it back.<\/p>\n So as someone who spent many years fighting for the Alberta Liberal Party, I thought I’d offer a few tips to help facilitate your transition to irrelevance.<\/p>\n 1. Blame the Media<\/strong>: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard Liberals complain that “we would have won, if only the media had covered our education platform<\/em>“. Yes, it’s not in any way productive to trash the media, but it’s something you can bond over with other activists, and it’s healthier than blaming voters.<\/p>\n You’ve already got a good start on this – I’ve seen lots of tweets from PC members complaining about Danielle Smith’s free ride this campaign. One Facebook post dismissed a ThinkHQ poll as “Wildrose propaganda”, even though the company is run by Dave Bronconnier’s former chief of staff.<\/p>\n 2. Blame the electoral map<\/strong>: Repeat after me – “why does rural Alberta get so many seats<\/em>?”. Seriously, whose idea was that?<\/p>\n 3. Forget the Past:<\/strong> I know there will be a temptation to look back longingly at the glory years. Maybe you’ll even try to convince a nephew of Ed Stelmach’s to run for leader one day, to try to reclaim the magic of the 70-seat Stelmachian era. But I’ve told enough Alexander Rutherford<\/a> stories on the door steps to know voters don’t give a damn about the past.<\/p>\n 4. Accept the Messiah<\/strong>: Back in 2001, a drunk Ralph Klein berated the homeless in Calgary, and the voters shrugged. He threw a book at a 12 year old girl, berated AISH recipients, got busted plagiarizing an essay, and told ranchers to “shoot, shovel, and shut up” next time they saw a case of mad cow disease – each time, voters shrugged. It used to drive me crazy<\/a>, but after a decade, I came to accept it.<\/p>\n The sooner you accept that Danielle Smith is infallible, the less likely you’ll be to develop high blood pressure.<\/p>\n 5. Learn to Love Opposition<\/strong>: Rejoice! The days of having to defend no-meet committees<\/a>, controversial appointments<\/a>, and spending boondoggles<\/a> are over. I know you found it awkward explaining why Ron Stevens<\/a> billed taxpayers for a 3-day “stopover” in Hawaii, as part of his fact finding trip to Australia to “study” their gambling system. Luckily, the days of PCs doing anything<\/em> on the government dime are gone.<\/p>\n