{"id":2569,"date":"2010-02-09T19:10:00","date_gmt":"2010-02-10T00:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/?p=2569"},"modified":"2010-02-09T19:10:00","modified_gmt":"2010-02-10T00:10:00","slug":"the-art-of-text-message-seduction-by-adam-giambrone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/?p=2569","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Text Message Seduction, by Adam Giambrone"},"content":{"rendered":"

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Calgary Grit is pleased to offer relationship advice from Adam Giambrone<\/a> – the perfect way to impress those special someones this Sunday!<\/p>\n

1. Always text! It is the best way 4 U 2 get ur message across. Whether you’re telling your girlfriend about your other<\/em> girlfriend (“You know I will be announcing I have a partner. It is someone named Sarah who I’ve been involved with in the past<\/em>“) or telling her why she’s important to you (“I still think of you when I need … um … stimulation<\/em>“) – a text is perfect for any occasion!<\/p>\n

2. Women like being used as campaign props. There is no greater compliment you can give a woman than letting her know you’re dating her because “I had to have someone political<\/em>“.<\/p>\n

3. Rather than buying your mistress a birthday gift, let her know “a long, long time ago about the (TTC) fare hike<\/em>“. Think of all the money she’ll save stockpiling tokens in advance!<\/p>\n

4. Show a woman how important she is to you – even after you tell her you can’t be seen in public together, all will be forgiven when you text her “I still think of you when I need … um … stimulation<\/em>“. Other great compliments include: “I like you because you’re smart and interesting. You’re also good-looking naked<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

5. Make it clear where you stand. Your live in girlfriend will appreciate your honesty when you text your other girlfriend: “I am NOT marrying (Sarah)”.<\/em><\/p>\n

6. Be sure to psych yourself up so that you are “ready” for any big date by doing push-ups and jumping jacks in your suit, and talking to yourself in the mirror. You’ll appear that much more confident.<\/p>\n

<\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n

OK, OK. Now that we’ve had our fun with Giambrone, what does it all mean? Personally, I’m torn. I question the wisdom of anyone who thinks David Miller “is like a god”, but I do appreciate Giambrone’s use of proper grammar in most of his text messages.<\/p>\n

Still, when the main knock on the guy is that he’s too immature to be mayor, this is more than a sex scandal. This campaign could be over by the time the snow melts.<\/p>\n

UPDATE<\/strong><\/em>: Quite a bit before the snow melts, it turns out. Giambrone quits the race<\/a>, leaving a huge hole on the left.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Calgary Grit is pleased to offer relationship advice from Adam Giambrone – the perfect way to impress those special someones this Sunday! 1. Always text! It is the best way 4 U 2 get ur message across. Whether you’re telling your girlfriend about your other girlfriend (“You know I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2569"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2569"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2569\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2569"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2569"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2569"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}