{"id":2175,"date":"2009-02-24T00:35:00","date_gmt":"2009-02-24T05:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/?p=2175"},"modified":"2009-02-24T00:35:00","modified_gmt":"2009-02-24T05:35:00","slug":"the-envelope-please","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/?p=2175","title":{"rendered":"The Envelope Please"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the second somewhat annual<\/a> Political Oscars \u2013 a chance to honour the best and worst in politics.<\/p>\n

With these awards there are no commercials, no dresses that cost more than you make in a year, no over-rehearsed demonstrations of spontaneous joy, no pre-game show hosted by Ben Mulroney, and no love-in of actors and actresses heaping mounds praise upon each others. It\u2019s not that I wouldn\u2019t have liked to do these things, they just fell victim to Harper’s culture cuts.<\/p>\n

Instead, these awards will be present in a short post which should likely take you less than four hours to read.<\/p>\n

Best Picture<\/span>: I asked readers to vote on the five nominees<\/a> back in December. And, as is always the case at the Oscars, cleavage won the day.
\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Actor in a Leading Role<\/span>: Pierre Polievre, for his performance in The Curious Case of Pierre Polievre<\/span>. Against all odds, this Tory MP seems to grow less and less mature as he ages.<\/p>\n

Actress in a Leading Role<\/span>: Julie Couillard, for her performance in Sex and the City<\/span>. When Mr. Big leaves his NATO briefing book at her apartment, all hell breaks lose!<\/p>\n

Directing<\/span>: Stephen Harper, for the movie \u201cCanada\u201d. Interestingly, \u201cCanada\u201d bears a striking similarity<\/a> to the movie \u201cAustralia\u201d \u2013 in some cases, entire scenes appear copied word for word.<\/p>\n

Foreign Language Film<\/span>: The Incredible Hulk<\/span>. Mild mannered and geeky Stephane Dion undergoes a transformation, threatening to bring down the Tory government. You wouldn\u2019t want to see St\u00e9phane when he\u2019s angry! Tragically, like most Hulk movies, this one bombed.<\/p>\n

Film Editing<\/span>: Hillary Clinton, for adding sniper fire in post-production on Hillary Visits Bosnia<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Sound Mixing<\/span>: The Debt-Files – I Want to Believe<\/span>. Far right Conservatives must cope with Stephen Harper\u2019s budget, wanting to believe he\u2019s still one of them.<\/p>\n

Sound Non-Editing<\/span>: Tom Zytaruk, for Zytaruk\/Harper<\/span><\/p>\n

Visual Effects<\/span>: The Visitor<\/span>. An entire country goes absolutely insane for a week, fawning over a dark and handsome visitor who takes a day trip there.<\/p>\n

Documentary Short<\/span><\/span>: Definitely, Maybe<\/span>. Jim Flaherty\u2019s ever-evolving answer on whether or not we\u2019re going into deficit.<\/p>\n

Documentary Feature<\/span>: Doubt<\/span>. Patrick Muttart and others, contemplate Stephen Harper\u2019s re-election chances.<\/p>\n

Actors and Actresses in a Very Very Very Supporting Role<\/span>: To the Stephen Harper Cabinet for their performances in Yes Man.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cinematography<\/span>:
<\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n

Makeup<\/span>: As always, Stephen Harper\u2019s stylist comes out on top.<\/p>\n

Costume Design<\/span>: To the Tory campaign team, for tracking down a Blue Sweater Vest.<\/p>\n

Short Film (Animated)<\/span>: Lavatory-Lovestory<\/span>. A documentary on the life and times of Larry Craig. [And, yes, this was the actual title<\/a> of an Oscar nominated film]<\/p>\n

Animated Feature Film<\/span>: RALPH-E<\/span>. Set in the near future, a robotic being<\/a> is the last Liberal left on the Prairies\u2026can he find a companion? [spoiler alert: no]<\/p>\n

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)<\/span>. Northern Thunder<\/span>. A producer plans to re-enact the battle of the Plains of Abraham. When a bunch of high-paid prima donna politicians are unexpectedly thrown into the battle, hijinx ensue.<\/p>\n

Writing (Original Screenplay):<\/span> The Changeling<\/span>. When the small government Reformer Stephen Harper becomes a Keynesian deficit spender overnight, many begin to wonder if this is actually their Prime Minister, or if he has been replaced.<\/p>\n

See Also \u2013 2007 Political Oscars<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the second somewhat annual Political Oscars \u2013 a chance to honour the best and worst in politics. With these awards there are no commercials, no dresses that cost more than you make in a year, no over-rehearsed demonstrations of spontaneous joy, no pre-game show hosted by Ben Mulroney, and no […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2175"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2175"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2175\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.calgarygrit.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}